That Is How
by Emerin
Summary: It is only the ones you love most who rip your heart out xSLASH HarryDraco x
1. That Is How

Hullo Gentle Readers,

I know this is a pretty intense ficlet, but I needed to write it and get over all of it...Writing is the best form of therapy I'm told, so I'm hoping to get rid of some demons...Well. Its not too clear on who the speaker is, but its Harry. Trust me on this. And I bet you can guess who the person he's referring to is... Don't hate me. I just needed to write this.Well, review anyway.

Thanks,  
Emerin

* * *

When I pushed the couch and the recliner and the chairs and the tables infront of the door just so you couldn't get in... 

When I locked my bedroom door, cowering in the corner of the room, waiting until you inevitably kicked open the door and came inside...

When I slammed against the wall, refusing to look at you, because I knew how to act when someone was yelling at me in fury...

When I flinched as you hit me across the face, knowing more of a reaction would bring more pain...

When I told my neighbors you weren't the guy I had warned them to call the cops on, seeing in your eyes the subtle look of treason and I knew I wouldn't survive this night...

When I was thrown on the bed, the ring you gave me burning sins into my finger, and you pinned me down and I kicked and I screamed and I bite and I did anything I could do just to get away from your touch...

When I stared up at you, hot tears of horror in my eyes, your fingers digging into my wrists and my lungs on fire...

When the blackness subsided and I felt your naked thighs pressed against mine, and the sharp piercing pain as you thrust into me without preparation or care...

When I bite my lip so hard just so I could think about something other than the blood dripping down my thighs and the sick sound of flesh slapping flesh...

When I stared at the wall above your shoulder, hearing your sounds of completion and whispered murmurs of gratitude and love...

When your body left mine and my skin grew damp and cold, the smell of blood and sex making sourness rise in my throat, and my mind screaming and my heart sobbing...

I watched you zip up your pants, your crisp grey eyes never leaving me and my broken body...

And you left me there...

And I cried...

That is how my soul died.


	2. Ask Me Again Tomorrow

Hullo gentle readers!

Dunno what came over me to do a second piece to this, but I felt it needed to be done. Since "That is how" is entirely based on personal experience, I thought it needed to continue on in light of recent events. I'm not too sure whether I'll add on a third chapter or not. Maybe...lets wait and see what happens between me and...that person...>.>

Welp, this is still in Harry's POV and for those of you who were confused from the first part, it WAS Draco who raped him. Just for clarification. But, yeah, ok, I know this one is pretty choppy and totally not like the first part, but thats the point and you love it cause I say so. Anyways.

The plot is Draco comes back after a pretty long disappearance after the "incident" and asks to meet up with Harry. He's already sent a letter to apologize, but this is the first time they've met face-to-face since they broke up and he wants to try being friends again...

Right. ON WITH THE SHOW!

Enjoy and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

* * *

Smile  
Look my way  
Notice me  
Notice me  
Notice me  
melt 

Beautiful  
As always  
"You too"  
_Such a shame  
_Do I believe?  
DO I?

_Pretty words  
_I want to be naive  
I WISH I was naive  
I'm not  
I know I'm not  
You know I'm not, too  
But we'll pretend

Talk  
Talk  
Talk  
So much to say  
But we never just say it  
Everything else  
_JUST SAY IT!_

So you do

I look away

I'm not naive  
We've been over this  
You know I'm not  
We can't pretend

You scarred me deeply  
It'll never heal  
Maybe I'm to blame  
Maybe I linger  
Dwell  
Remember...

Like your eyes  
They're beautiful  
As always  
Your voice  
I don't even realize I missed it so much  
I did  
Your warmth  
Spreading from shoulders into souls

Close my eyes  
Pretend  
Just for a bit  
Like I still could  
Like I never stopped  
Pretend  
We're inlove  
So tragically inlove  
Waves crashing beneath us and storms above us  
Yet we still kiss on that cliff and never fall  
Never  
Never  
Never

Maybe just once  
I lean too far  
Its inevitable  
You can't catch me  
And I die  
A bloody mess at the bottom of our naivity

So lets not pretend  
Let me look at you  
Look at me  
Notice me  
SEE me  
The REAL me  
Look at my scars  
See my tears  
Know the dirty, ugly, filthy mess underneath the most gorgeous person you'll ever meet

Love me  
Just love me

Yes  
Like that  
Just like that

With arms  
And bodies  
And warmth  
And tears  
And promises  
And apologies  
And whispered memories of a dream we'd long woken from

Yes  
Yes  
Like that  
Love me

Do I?  
I never stopped  
I always touched with tentative fingertips  
As if you'd break  
As if we'd break  
Cause you're porcelain  
We're precious china  
But I broke us  
You broke us  
We're broke

So hold me like its not a lie  
Its not pretend  
I really do believe your words on my cheek  
I trust those hands on my neck and hip  
I don't flinch under those sharp grey eyes

Lets just sit here  
Talk  
About nothing  
Like we're fine  
Cause we're fine  
I'm fine  
Things haven't changed  
Ron and Blaise are still alive  
Just in the next room  
We can still hear their laughter  
There's still warmth in the world  
I can still trust you  
Can't I?  
Can't I?  
Can't I?

A shiver  
A tear  
I push  
Pretend is over  
A lie wasn't enough  
An ache  
A hollow  
Not enough

So love me  
yes  
like that  
cold hug  
salty kiss

Don't look at me like that  
I bear the burns of your sin on my neck  
Don't look away now  
See them  
See ME  
Love me  
Just **love** me  
Don't pretend  
Don't look away  
Hold my hand  
**MEAN IT  
**Cry for me  
On your knees  
On my knees

No more  
Maybe  
I don't know  
Just love me  
Do I?  
I never stopped  
Do I?  
Do I?  
Do I?  
I don't know...  
Ask me again tomorrow


End file.
